The One Thing that Unlocks our Superpowers
How to destroy fear and partner with our mind to be our best selves
When I think about presence, few figures loom larger than former President Bill Clinton.
People often describe interactions with Clinton as “captivating”. Many say that during conversations with him, they felt as if they were the only two people in the room.
Take a look at this clip from the 1992 Bush vs. Clinton Town Hall. Notice the differences between Bush and Clinton in their responses. Clinton's presence is on full display.
We all want to be more present, but presence is elusive to many of us. Why is being present so difficult?
Evolution has wired our brain to be in constant thought mode - scanning our environment for threats and improvements. The noisy, 24/7 roommate in our head doesn’t shut the @#$% up. We worry about everything - our work, personal finances, how we are being perceived amongst our peers and so on. Focusing on the present didn't help our ancestors survive; constant fear and analysis of potential threats did. But today’s threats don’t look like yesterday’s. Most of us are no longer at risk of being eaten by a lion. We’re no longer served by our threat detector.
The Stoics say that when we worry about potential future events, we suffer twice - once when we worry about the event and again if the event actually happens. If we can navigate ourselves to the present moment, all of our fear-based suffering falls away, and we are free to live. After all, how can we fear the moment if we are simultaneously bearing it?
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality”
-Seneca
Presence sounds like a wonder drug - less fear, less anxiety, better performance, better relationships? So what’s preventing us from seizing our presence?
Let's explore some tactics to help us become more present:
Train your mind to notice the little things. Josh Waitzkin is the chess prodigy subject of the film “Searching for Bobby Fisher”. In his book “The Art of Learning” he describes the tactic of making smaller circles which essentially means plunging deep into the micro of whatever is in front of you. Train your mind to notice the small things in any given moment. In conversation it might be the breathing pattern of the other person, their body language, your body language etc. Cultivating an intense focus on the micro will help you improve the macro.
Make eye contact and find curiosity in your subject. Clinton draws people in by maintaining eye contact, moving toward his counterpart, and probing their world. He creates intimacy without getting weird. This conversation, this moment, is the only thing that matters right now. If you catch your mind wandering, observe it (don't judge it) and gently bring your attention back to the conversation. You can practice eye contact with strangers on the street. Look into the eyes of people as they walk by you, but only for a second or so (see "don't get weird" earlier).
Keep your mind in peak condition. There’s simply no way around it, without a healthy mind you cannot partner with it. At risk of broken record syndrome - cut your scrolling time, cut your news media time, invest in meditation, invest in sleep, invest in physical exercise, invest in books. If you are serious about being your best self, these tactics are critical to increasing presence and effectiveness.
Learning to pay attention to the moment can unlock superpowers for us. Here are some resources I recommend to help you get started:
The Power of Now (a great book on being present)
Waking Up App (an app I use for daily meditation)
Stay present!