In his journal, Marcus Aurelius wrote:
When you wake up in the morning tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly.
I’m generally more of an optimist than Marcus, although it never hurts to be prepared!
While I’d wish for you to deal only with pleasant, reasonable and well-intentioned people, it’s inevitable that you will encounter people who have acute pain, fear and anger.
In fact, a friend of mine just described one such person to me today. This person would intentionally disrupt her tennis lessons, ultimately culminating in an argument and a middle finger. And I’d bet that we all know a crazy neighbour that projects anger on a weekly basis.
Since we will encounter these people, we’d be best to expect and prepare for them. It would be foolish to be surprised when someone cuts the line or honks their horn at you.
While my friend was expressing her anger to me, I was thinking to myself - by sustaining your anger, you are letting this person own space in your mind. You are giving them power over your mind. This is what they want. You are validating their tactics. They want to harm you, and you are letting them.
In your response to assholes, you have a choice - you can get angry or you can let it fall away. It rarely serves you to get angry. Again, you are giving them the response they seek. The best response would be to not get upset.
So the next time someone projects anger at you, or you perceive you’ve been harmed, remember to resist your natural urge to fight back. Don’t give them power over you.
Also from Marcus Aurelius:
Choose not to be harmed — and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed — and you haven't been.
While we’re on the topic of assholes, I’d like to share with you my ‘no assholes’ rule. This is a zero tolerance rule I apply to my teams in business. It’s a very simple rule (the best kind). Here it is: I don’t care how smart you are, how good you are, how valuable you think you are; there are no assholes allowed on my teams.
Be well 🙏